Gaffe-a-minute Tory, Jacob Rees-Mogg, welcomes the recession – lining his pockets with gold as the credit crunch bites the rest of us
George Osborne’s pronouncement at the Tory Party conference in Manchester that “we’re all in this together” would be funny, if it wasn’t so tragic.
Reminds me of the cartoon depicting a Roman slave ship, bristling with oars. The obligatory gang master beats the drum while his cohorts no doubt beat the slaves to heed the rhythm set by the bosses.
One galley slave remarks to another: “If we’re all in the same boat, how come we do all the ’effing rowing?”
This gap between posh Tories and the rest of the real world is best illustrated in the sleepy rural constituency of North East Somerset, widely tipped to return Old Etonian, Jacob Rees-Mogg as their next MP in 2010.
Jacob, whose name means ‘supplanter’, a Biblical reference to the story of how he tricked his older brother out of his inheritance by deceiving his blind father, is almost the prefect caricature of what you might expect from a Tory toff.
His list of buffoonery, easily accessed via Google or Wikipedia, rivals current Mayor of London, Boris Johnson.
Looking like a cross between Lord Snooty and Plug (from the Bash Street Kids), young Jacob heads an investment management consultancy and his bon mots often appear in print – and he sometimes even writes them himself.
There is such a thing as a free lunch
In the summer of 2006, MoneyWeek magazine (motto: “How to make it, how to keep it, how to spend it”) gathered “six of the best” financial experts to let us plebs know what they thought looked “interesting” in the markets. Having been to public school, Rees-Mogg knows a lot about what “six of the best” really means, so he was one of the experts availing themselves of this free lunch.
As the caviar and champagne was quaffed, Jacob was asked where he was making his money at the time. He replied: “…we have had 12 years of continuous growth and that has never happened before, so it is about time we had a recession.”
Looks like he got his wish – big time.
But why would he welcome a recession with such enthusiasm? I’m glad you asked.
You see, the money you make by working so hard day in, day out, has no value in the eyes of Jacob Rees-Mogg. “The notes you take out of your pocket are worthless,” he tells us. “Gold isn’t, though: it has rarity and it’s a store of value.”
“I keep a gold stock in all of my portfolios.” Bully for you, Jacob.
Gold values continue to reach all-time highs – why else would so many TV adverts now beg even the working class to part with their gold jewellery for cash?
Your paper money is worthless
So the man who said it’s about time we had a recession must have been delighted when his wish came true. His personal gold stock is rising while the rest of us who still need to use grubby paper money can be reassured by his view that the notes in our pockets are worthless.
Every cloud has a gold lining for Rees-Mogg.
People in North East Somerset are right to be wary of this very wealthy Tory toff, happily profiting out of the recession.
“We’re all in it together” say the new faces of the new Tories. Only we’re in it up to our necks while they keep their private (and our public) wealth very close to their chests.
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